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The Ransom-Ware

An ode to companies that poorly guard their computer systems and end up paying extortionists bitcoin to unlock them (with apologies to Rudyard Kipling).

Photo_of_Rudyard_Kipling

“I am extremely concerned that the decision to pay international criminal actors sets a dangerous precedent that will put an even bigger target on the back of critical infrastructure going forward.”

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– U.S. Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-N.Y.), pressing Colonial Pipeline and CNA Financial to explain why they paid off ransomware attackers.

Or, as Rudyard Kipling might have put it...

It is always a temptation to crooks in far-off nations
To hack into a corporate and to say: –
"All your data is now ours, it’s as good as behind bars
Unless you pay us sats to go away."

And that is called asking for bitcoin,
And the people who ask it explain
That you've only to pay 'em the bitcoin
And then you'll get rid of the bane!

This article is excerpted from The Node, CoinDesk's daily roundup of pivotal stories about the future of money and Web 3.0. Subscribe to get the full newsletter here.

It is always a temptation for a lazy corporation,
To poorly guard its systems and to say: –
"Our employee just got phished, now our stakeholders are miffed.
We will therefore pay you sats to go away."

And that is called paying the bitcoin;
But we've proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid them the bitcoin
You never get rid of the bane.

It is wrong to put temptation in the path of corporations,
For fear they should get p0wned and go astray;
So when firms are conscripted to pay up or stay encrypted,
Perhaps we should require them to say: –

"We never pay anyone bitcoin,
Even if our data is lost;
For the name of that game is extortion and pain,
And the nation that plays it is toast!"

Now, for serious reading on this deadly serious topic, see CoinDesk’s recent news coverage…

...a variety of informed perspectives from our opinion section….

….and this podcast:

As a chaser, here's a sweet musical rendition of Kipling's "The Dane-Geld":

Have a good weekend.

Nota: Le opinioni espresse in questa rubrica sono quelle dell'autore e non riflettono necessariamente quelle di CoinDesk, Inc. o dei suoi proprietari e affiliati.

Marc Hochstein

As Deputy Editor-in-Chief for Features, Opinion, Ethics and Standards, Marc oversaw CoinDesk's long-form content, set editorial policies and acted as the ombudsman for our industry-leading newsroom. He also spearheaded our nascent coverage of prediction markets and helped compile The Node, our daily email newsletter rounding up the biggest stories in crypto.

From November 2022 to June 2024 Marc was the Executive Editor of Consensus, CoinDesk's flagship annual event. He joined CoinDesk in 2017 as a managing editor and has steadily added responsibilities over the years.

Marc is a veteran journalist with more than 25 years' experience, including 17 years at the trade publication American Banker, the last three as editor-in-chief, where he was responsible for some of the earliest mainstream news coverage of cryptocurrency and blockchain technology.

DISCLOSURE: Marc holds BTC above CoinDesk's disclosure threshold of $1,000; marginal amounts of ETH, SOL, XMR, ZEC, MATIC and EGIRL; an Urbit planet (~fodrex-malmev); two ENS domain names (MarcHochstein.eth and MarcusHNYC.eth); and NFTs from the Oekaki (pictured), Lil Skribblers, SSRWives, and Gwar collections.

Marc Hochstein