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7 Crypto Limericks to Brighten Your Friday

"There was a young man named Vitalik..."

Updated Apr 3, 2023, 2:15 p.m. Published Mar 5, 2021, 7:45 p.m.

Editor’s note (March 8, 02:00 UTC): In the original version of this post, the second line of the fourth limerick contained an offensive term that was not consistent with CoinDesk standards. The line has been replaced. The author regrets the error and any hurt inadvertently caused.

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CoinDesk is publishing well over 30 articles a day now, reflecting the investments we’ve made in staffing as well as a busy news cycle in a roaring bull market. Most of what we cover is deadly serious, and even in the absurd or fantastical stories there’s serious money involved.

But it’s Friday, so I thought I’d offer a diversion....

There was a young man named Vitalik
Who decided Bitcoin was a relic.
He made his own token,
Some say that it’s broken,
But, then, those are Maxi smart alecks.

The wildest exchange they call BitMEX
(Not to be mixed up with Bittrex).
The chief’s on the lam,
But to CT, he’s fam,
One hundred times leverage? Don’t get rekt.

Marc Hochstein is CoinDesk's executive editor. This post originally appeared in The Node, CoinDesk's (otherwise essential) daily roundup of the most pivotal news stories on the future of money and Web 3.0. You can subscribe to get the full newsletter here.

There once was a man named Maduro
Who sought to outdo Europe's euro.
He minted a s**tcoin,
Exchanged it for bitcoin
And left his bagholders with zero.

I know of a ghoul named Gerard
Who twisted my post's words roughshod.
In sneers he rejoices,
One day he’ll be hoisted
Sky-high, by his own petard.

An old cypherpunk known as Zooko
Valued his privacy beaucoup.
To keep transfers dark,
Layered on zk-SNARKs:
A math more complex than Sudoku!

If more folks had listened to Palley
They wouldn't fret now about jail-y.
Now he chairs a whole practice,
Got a Marmot to back this
And another smart lawyer named Hailey.

BTC has rewards for the thrifty,
Non-fungible tokens seem nifty.
Retail buyers beware,
DYOR, please,take care
For much in this market is grift-y!

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Note: The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of CoinDesk, Inc. or its owners and affiliates.

Vitalik Buterin Zooko Wilcox Arthur Hayes Maduro Stephen Palley Preston Byrne Humor

Marc Hochstein

As Deputy Editor-in-Chief for Features, Opinion, Ethics and Standards, Marc oversaw CoinDesk's long-form content, set editorial policies and acted as the ombudsman for our industry-leading newsroom. He also spearheaded our nascent coverage of prediction markets and helped compile The Node, our daily email newsletter rounding up the biggest stories in crypto.

From November 2022 to June 2024 Marc was the Executive Editor of Consensus, CoinDesk's flagship annual event. He joined CoinDesk in 2017 as a managing editor and has steadily added responsibilities over the years.

Marc is a veteran journalist with more than 25 years' experience, including 17 years at the trade publication American Banker, the last three as editor-in-chief, where he was responsible for some of the earliest mainstream news coverage of cryptocurrency and blockchain technology.

DISCLOSURE: Marc holds BTC above CoinDesk's disclosure threshold of $1,000; marginal amounts of ETH, SOL, XMR, ZEC, MATIC and EGIRL; an Urbit planet (~fodrex-malmev); two ENS domain names (MarcHochstein.eth and MarcusHNYC.eth); and NFTs from the Oekaki (pictured), Lil Skribblers, SSRWives, and Gwar collections.