7 Crypto Limericks to Brighten Your Friday

Editor’s note (March 8, 02:00 UTC): In the original version of this post, the second line of the fourth limerick contained an offensive term that was not consistent with CoinDesk standards. The line has been replaced. The author regrets the error and any hurt inadvertently caused.

CoinDesk is publishing well over 30 articles a day now, reflecting the investments we’ve made in staffing as well as a busy news cycle in a roaring bull market. Most of what we cover is deadly serious, and even in the absurd or fantastical stories there’s serious money involved.

But it’s Friday, so I thought I’d offer a diversion....

There was a young man named Vitalik
Who decided Bitcoin was a relic.
He made his own token,
Some say that it’s broken,
But, then, those are Maxi smart alecks.

The wildest exchange they call BitMEX
(Not to be mixed up with Bittrex).
The chief’s on the lam,
But to CT, he’s fam,
One hundred times leverage? Don’t get rekt.

Marc Hochstein is CoinDesk's executive editor. This post originally appeared in The Node, CoinDesk's (otherwise essential) daily roundup of the most pivotal news stories on the future of money and Web 3.0. You can subscribe to get the full newsletter here.

There once was a man named Maduro
Who sought to outdo Europe's euro.
He minted a s**tcoin,
Exchanged it for bitcoin
And left his bagholders with zero.

I know of a ghoul named Gerard
Who twisted my post's words roughshod.
In sneers he rejoices,
One day he’ll be hoisted
Sky-high, by his own petard.

An old cypherpunk known as Zooko
Valued his privacy beaucoup.
To keep transfers dark,
Layered on zk-SNARKs:
A math more complex than Sudoku!

If more folks had listened to Palley
They wouldn't fret now about jail-y.
Now he chairs a whole practice,
Got a Marmot to back this
And another smart lawyer named Hailey.

BTC has rewards for the thrifty,
Non-fungible tokens seem nifty.
Retail buyers beware,
DYOR, please,take care
For much in this market is grift-y!

Have a good weekend, everyone.